We Have Been Busy

It feels like we have been working on cleaning up the farm for the wedding since the beginning of time. In reality, it has only been a lifetime of weeekends. But we are making progress.

These are not authentic "Before" pictures--I've been too busy driving a tractor and fighting savage vines to take real photos--but they are damn well close enough.

Now use your imagination to mix all of those photos together, add in two litters of kittens (!), several cats, 2-4 dogs, a rambunctious 4 year-old, chickens, plenty of open space and lots of SKY, and you have a pretty good picture of how much of my free time has been spent in the past couple months.

I am not complaining (much). I have certainly done the lesser amount of work between Bobby and myself. He spends most evenings there, in addition to the weekends. It has been good, in more ways than we can describe, for us to work together on this, and it's going to make the wedding that much more rewarding and unique and fun.

But DAMN it's been a lot of hard work. When do we get to the part where we're filthy rich and have servants who do everything for us while we run off on exotic vacations every other weekend?

I cannot end this post without acknowledging the time and labor of our good friends who have spent their own precious free time with us, working hard, getting dirty, and listening to me whine (loudly). Thank you guys.

Doncha Wanna Dance?? Say You Wanna Dance!!

The honest truth? The only thing motivating me to plan this wedding (beside the whole being in love and wanting to be married to my best friend for the rest of my life thing) is my desire to have a GIANT DANCE PARTY.

You will eat and drink plenty, I assure you, but above all, you will boogie. Hopefully like this:

I hope the couple in this video doesn't show up at our wedding, because I, along with these two...

...will blow them out. of. the. water.

I just hope you're ready.

Weekend Update

We were somewhat productive on the wedding front this weekend:

• Sorted out who we still need addresses for and who still needs an STD. How late is too late to be sending these out? We're not "B-listing" anyone...we're just still missing some addresses.
• Sent emails to various companies regarding toilet trailers. Do you have an Excel sheet titled "Potties"? Cause I do.

Hopefully, we can do better than this.

• Called hotels to reserve blocks of rooms. In case you're wondering, hotel managers do NOT work Saturday afternoons. Not sure if this counts as a step forward, since I didn't actually talk to anyone who could help me. But I left my name and number with 5 hotels.
• Began designing the invitations. Like the STDs, we'll be doing these on our own. I'd like to thank Ms. Bacon, my middle school computer teacher, for giving me about 90% of the skills I need to make these things snazzy and completely personalized. Photoshop, schmotoshop. MS Office is where it's at.
• Confirmed The Official Dance Move of the wedding. Stay tuned for that. You don't want to be left out.

Zee Dress - Part 2

So, as soon as I couldn't have it,  The Dress I Had My Eye On became The Dress I MUST Have. I had a little hissy, then got to work trying to come up with a solution.


The first thing I did was call the retail store and explain the situation: they were selling a dress that I could only get through their website, but they were out of my size. What were my options? Wait to see if they stock more? Starve myself for the next 6 months in hopes of fitting in to the smaller size? Or buy a size up and have it altered?


"Well, it really depends," said the saleslady on the phone. "We can alter it for you here, but it depends on how much you want to spend."


"Well, how much would it be to alter it?"


"Well, it really depends..." 


"For example, how much is a hem?"


"A hem? Oh well, a hem is $90, so you'd go up from there depending on how much you needed altered."

$90 for a HEM?!?!?!!? Needless to say, it was back to the drawing board. I decided it was not meant to be. I would just have to find a dress I loved MORE.

Some E-Bay searching led me to a slew of sellers who appeared to be women in China who will make any dress you send a picture of for anywhere from $20-$200. This intrigues me. I love a good deal. 


However, I don't love child labor or cheap materials or ill-fitting garments. Now, I don't know that these dresses turn out poorly, or that there are any shading dealings involved. In fact, I'm willing to bet that everything about them is just fine. But it's difficult to be sure about any transaction you're making from the other side of the globe.


Advice from a friend led me to seek more information on theknot.com. So, for the first time, I found myself spending more than 5 minutes on The Knot before getting bored/disgusted...I scoured the message boards for what people had to say about these Chinese women and their magic sewing machines. As expected, everyone on The Knot was being a bunch of haters, and none of them had actually worn one of these dresses.

While I was willing to ignore the haters, I couldn't gather enough evidence that these dresses would be legit. Not all was lost though. One of the posters had the same hesitations I did, and said that she finally found a woman in North Jersey who sews custom gowns at fair prices.

Emails and phone calls returned promptly? Yep.
Buy (semi) locally? Uh-huh.
Lower shipping costs? Yes please.
Know exactly who will be making my dress? For sure.

Support someone trying to start a small business doing something they love? Absolutely.

After contacting her by email, sending her a picture of the dress I want, and negotiating the price (always offer to pay cash!), I think I'm sold on Wendy and her online boutique. Check it out at ieieshop.com

Say Yes to the Dress - Part 1

That was probably much too obvious a title for a post on--what else?--the dress.

The dress is not ordered, or paid for, or even 100% decided on, but I'm getting closer. Here is how this wedding stuff is going for me: any decision that can potentially disappoint me or cause anxiety...I avoid. This will, of course, lead to more anxiety down the road, as I feel the crunch of time upon me. So I am working on this. Starting with making a decision on a dress...

I was going to apologize for the small size of these pictures...

...but I think it's better not to give it all away

I spied on this dress for about a month. It was only available through the retailer's online site. I was getting pretty close to working up the nerve and the funds to order it (and the free shipping sale was about to end) when this happened:

The secret's out. I'm not a size 2. But that's nothing my thighs couldn't tell you...

 This was my reaction:

There is nothing like being told you can't have something to make you WANT IT. NOW.

That is what we call "having a hissy." Except its so much less effective when you're sitting home alone in your pjs on a snow day with only gchat to vent.

Stay tuned for my more solution-oriented progress...

The Church

 Asbury United Methodist Church

1213 Pacific Ave.

Atlantic City, NJ

We will be married by the Reverend Gilbert Caldwell of Asbury United Methodist Church in Atlantic City.

Rev. Caldwell received his education at Boston University School of Theology, Harvard Divinity School, and North Carolina A. & T. State University. He is a retired United Methodist Minister who participated in the "Mississippi Freedom Summer" of 1964, the Selma to Montgomery March in 1965, and the March on Washington.

Rev. Caldwell is a founding member of the United Methodists of Color for a Fully Inclusive Church, and the Black Methodists for Church Renewal. He is also a member of the Board of Preachers and Scholars at the Martin Luther King International Chapel, Morehouse College, and the author of two books and numerous book chapters, newspaper, and magazine articles.

Rev. Caldwell and has wife, Grace, have been married for 47 years and have two sons and one grand daughter.

We have enjoyed services at Asbury over the past couple of weeks and plan to continue attending as "Friends of Asbury." Everyone there has been incredibly welcoming and kind, especially Reverend Caldwell and his wife, Grace. We look forward to developing our relationship with the church.

Colors & Decor Ideas...

Here are just some colors and ideas that I like... 

I plan on making those tissue paper poofs. Lovely...

Simple, simple centerpieces. I love the pop of blue. 

I'm loving PEACH.

Of course, I could change my mind tomorrow...